We Need the Eggs
Donald Trump’s escalated display of erratic, delusional, and childish behavior reminds me of a joke told by Woody Allen. This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, “Doc, my brother’s crazy; he thinks he’s a chicken.” And the doctor says, “Well, why don’t you turn him in?” The guy says, “I would, but I need the eggs.”
There are people who can act now on behalf of this country. They know that Mr. Trump is unfit to continue in his office. They know that every day he remains in office our country is in peril and the entire world is threatened. They know and they do nothing because they need the eggs.
So here I write an appeal to some of you who can make a difference. First, the Trump family. It is time for an intervention, not just for the sake of the country, but for the sake of your family, and your own health. It must be stressful to witness this man’s self-destruction, not to mention embarrassing to watch it happen in front of the whole world. Please, if you care for him, give up the eggs. Don’t try to put Humpty Trumpty back together again; just get him some help before he does any more harm to himself or others.
Next, I address the people who have witnessed Trump’s mental or emotional imbalance close up: staff, cabinet members, Vice President Pence. Former staff and cabinet members, too. Don’t write an anonymous letter to the NY Times. Tell the truth and sign your names—lots of them—a list so long it will take up a whole page in major newspapers. The price of eggs has gone up steadily, and you are spending away your integrity while your country suffers the consequences. Yes, some of you are the ones who can invoke the twenty-fifth amendment. Please, please do it now.
And then there are those of you who have been collecting your eggs in one basket—members of the House and Senate who suffer from the illusion that the basket is sound. To you I just say, please quit serving yourselves and your party and serve your country and the people you represent.
And I am imagining that world leaders, lots of you, might take up another page in major newspapers and make a simple plea to the American people who, for whatever reason, need the eggs; your plea for a change in leadership would be on behalf of the entire world.
And finally, I appeal to those of you who may truly believe that President Trump is the Chosen One. The eggs you are getting are empty shells. Read your Bible. There is some good stuff there, you know, about loving your neighbor and providing hospitality to the stranger and caring for the poor and healing the sick. The God of that Bible would not choose someone who wants to make America hate again.